LUTHERMUIR GOSPEL HALL

MY NAME IS PAUL Thomas and I am 43 years old. I was born on the 25th July 1974 in Bristol. My parents were delighted at the safe arrival of their second son.

 

I was a jaundice baby and it wasn’t long before problems were evident with my health. A couple of weeks after returning home, I was rushed back to hospital where my condition was life threatening. My parents spent long hours at the bedside where I was wired up to hospital machinery! One night they were urgently called to the hospital and on arrival were asked if they would like me christened as it looked unlikely I would see the night through. They declined the offer, being Christians and knowing the truth of the Bible, which never speaks of entry to heaven by the sprinkling of water. Sadly this practise has deceived billions of people throughout the world! My parents committed me to God through the hours of the night. My mother prayed something like this; Lord, if it by thy will to take Paul tonight, I accept thy will. But if he is spared, I pray that he may trust in thee and his life will be used in Thy service. I saw the night through and my health gradually began to improve. It wasn’t until two years later that I was diagnosed with a liver disease called Alpha1 Anti-Tripcene deficiency, which is an enzyme disorder of the liver.

 

From my youngest days I recall annual visits to the hospital for health checks and blood tests. When I became a teenager the doctors stated the importance of avoiding cigarettes and alcohol as they would be detrimental to my liver.

 

My parents attend a Christian assembly in Bristol and my two brothers, younger sister and I used to frequently attend with them and we were brought up to learn the truth of the Bible. I never recall being too interested in the Bible or in attending the Christian gatherings, in fact on the contrary, I soon become very disinterested and was ashamed of my upbringing. A best friend from school used to call at the door every day and peering through the window would often see my dad praying or the family listening to the reading of the Bible. I remember being embarrassed and trying to hide the view into the home.

 

Before too long my rebellious spirit had started to lead me astray and while I was a fun-loving, mischievous youth, the power of sin started to manifest itself in my life. (The Bible says that we go astray from the day that we are born, speaking lies). At the age of 9 or 10 a friend and I found a long cigarette butt on the floor and taking it home we hid behind a fence in the garden. Having obtained a box of matches we lit up. We were so naïve we weren’t sure if you blew or sucked to inhale the smoke but soon found out, choking on our first puff. That was the commencement of smoking and we were soon asking older boys in the village to buy us cigarettes in the local newsagent. 

 

At the age of 14 I had gone to a party, deceiving my parents in telling them I was staying somewhere else overnight. There I had my first taste of beer and got drunk, I remember not enjoying the taste of it at all.

 

I continued to attend the Christian meetings with my parents and to hear the good news of the gospel of Jesus Christ preached weekly. There were times in my young life that God convicted me of my sin and I knew that while christianity was not a popular way it was the right way. I remember once being mocked by a classmate who had seen my Dad preaching the gospel in Cheddar Gorge on a Sunday afternoon. I was at times questioned as to why my parents didn’t allow me to do things that the other children did.

 

When I was 12 my mother had another little girl who only lived until she was 6 weeks old. There was much grief in the family and it was the first encounter I had with the death of a loved one. The following year my grandfather also died and death made an impression on my young life, feeling its sting and sadness. I noted that while it was such a sad time, there was something different for Christians who had a different outlook to everyone else. (Believing in the sacrificial death of Christ upon the cross to offer pardon and forgiveness from sin, Born Again Christians go to heaven to be with Jesus Christ when they die).

 

Time soon came for me to leave school and I left at the first opportunity! Having worked through the summer months I continued further studies at Strode College in Somerset. My older brother was also studying there and having recently left home he was renting a property near the college. I often stayed at his house which was a getaway from the influence of home and Christianity. By this time I was a regular smoker of cigarettes and cannabis and soon got involved in hard drugs such as LSD and Speed. The annual visits to the hospital stopped when I was about 16. In the last visit the doctor informed me that my liver seemed to have repaired itself in a measure, but again stressed the importance of abstaining from cigarettes and alcohol. In my folly his advice was less than ignored.

 

I stopped attending Christian gatherings and had determined a life pursuing pleasure and entertainment. However, there were still times that I was deeply convicted about my sin and under the continuing influence of drink and drugs I would often lie awake at night troubled in my soul. Pressing thoughts of God and eternity would make me restless and I would ask myself searching questions such as; “Where would I be if I died tonight? Am I ready to meet God”? One day walking along the high street with my brother I asked him; “Do you ever think about God and getting saved”? He didn’t respond but years later, after his own conversion, he told me the question greatly troubled him.

 

At the age of 18 I left home and life went on in a similar pattern. I recall a Friday night in August 1992 at a house party where I had spent the evening spiking people’s drinks with hallucinating drugs. Sitting on the floor at around 2.30a.m having had my fill of drink and drugs a friend arrived and said he had important news about my brother. My heart sank and fearing the worst I went outside to listen. He informed me that my brother, who had also been at a party, had publicly repented of his sin and put his faith in Jesus Christ. He stood up and told his friends that he was a guilty sinner, heading for Hell and that he had to be saved! As you can imagine, this wasn’t what they wanted to hear and they all thought he had ‘flipped out’. He returned to mum and dad’s house to tell them he had been saved.

I hurried home to see him and on first sight he had even changed in appearance! His dreadlocks had been cut off and he was a totally different person. He relayed what happened and said he was now a believer in the Lord Jesus Christ and was ready for heaven.

 

A couple of days later my younger brother got saved and had the same news to tell. Realising his guilt as a sinner before the Holy God of heaven, he too trusted in Jesus Christ as his Saviour. My sister was saved a few years later.

 

I continued on just as before but often felt alone! I was now deeply involved in drugs and my friends were either habitual drinkers or drug takers. One house I lived in was frequented by people looking to buy drugs. A friend informed us he had seen my flatmates picture up in the police station and we soon found out the drug squad were recording our movements from a neighbours house. At that time we were smoking crack cocaine and eventually got involved in heroin. On January 1st 1998 I awoke in my bath having taken a heroin overdose the night before. My friends told how my lips turned purple as they tried to keep me from going unconscious through the hours of the night. In spite of this, by the grace of God, I managed to only take heroin as a recreational drug as I watched friends become addicted, many still are today!

 

In August 1998 I moved away to Germany where I got a job working for an airship company. We spent our time enjoying the night life and drinking into the early hours. I was now only smoking cannabis and my substitute to drugs quickly became alcohol. Little did I know that a major change was about to take place in my life!

 

On April 8th drinking in a hotel bar in East Germany I received a phone call that got transferred to my room. It was my mother informing me that Grandpa had passed away. I assured her that I would return for the funeral which was to take place on the 21st April. Memories came back to me of Grandpa, he was one of the happiest people I had ever met and his rosy face radiated with joy. He often told me of my need to be saved and how the Lord Jesus Christ came into the world to save sinners. He used to say with a great big smile, “I’d rather go to heaven in a wheelbarrow than hell in a rolls Royce”, and I could tell he really meant it! I remembered visiting him in hospital and being told how he prayed daily that I would be saved from sin and trust Christ for salvation.

 

On the 21st April I was on the plane returning from Berlin. I felt uneasy and thoughts of God came to mind. I even wondered if I would get saved during my time at home. So low had I sunk in degradation and sin that instead of the wholesome reading of the bible which filled my mind in youth, I was engrossed in a book entitled ‘filth’!

 

On returning home I met up with friends and visited a local nightclub. The following morning I headed back to my parents house and after getting changed we drove to Bristol for the funeral. I was apprehensive about seeing all the Christians and wanted the funeral to be over quickly so I could get away from their company.

 

I didn’t want to sit too close to the front but found myself right at the front sitting next to my Grandma. The funeral service ended and we headed south to Cheddar for the burial. A short sermon was given and I watched the coffin being lowered into the ground while clutching my mother’s hand. As it was lowered to its final resting place we walked forward to look down for the last time. I saw my Grandpa’s name ‘Richard Thomas Wade’ written on the coffin lid. I suddenly became deeply convicted about my sin and heard the still small voice of God. I was overwhelmed and became aware that if I had been in the coffin I would be in Hell, forever! I couldn’t hold back my distress and was loudly wailing under such ruin and wretchedness.

 

I hurried home and rushing up to the bedroom I found a Bible and started searching. I didn’t know where to start and opening a random page I began to read. God was now directing me and the first verse I read was this; ‘For what shall it profit a man if shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul”? (Mark 8:36). My mum came into the room. She never pressed me about these matters but that day she spoke a few words that knocked the stuffing out of me; “Paul, why don’t you get saved”? I didn’t have much to say as I lay helpless on the bed. My brother came in and spoke with me for about 2 hours, he tried to show me how I needed to be saved and read helpful verses from the Bible.

 

Eventually I fell asleep with the Bible on my chest. I was a searching, convicted, sinner in need of relief but I was as far away from God and heaven as ever. I awoke the next morning and my waking thoughts were about God and my need of forgiveness. My suitcase sat empty at the end of the bed and I was due to leave in around an hour for the airport. I started searching the Bible again and then felt the power of Satan seeking to distract my thoughts and bid me think about these eternal issues another time, as he had often done before. I was in great soul distress, yet started to think about packing my suitcase. However, the pressing matter of Salvation was far too urgent and I couldn’t think straight about anything. I envisaged the plane coming down on route to Germany and being eternally lost in Hell. I curled up and put my head under the pillow. It was then, in this great distress that I heard the sweet voice of Jesus, saying; “Come, come”. A verse of scripture that I was taught as a young child came back to me, words of the Lord Jesus himself; “Come unto me all ye that labour and are heavy laden and I will give you rest”, (Matthew 11:28). This was exactly what I needed and getting down from the bed I fell to my knees. With tears of repentance streaming down my face I cried out to the Lord for Salvation, believing that when Christ died upon the cross he was taking the punishment for my personal sin. I hadn’t sung the words of this hymn for years but they came fresh to mind and became the prayer for forgiveness from a guilty sinner; ‘Just as I am, without one plea, but that thy blood was shed for me, and that thou bidst me come to thee, O Lamb of God, I come.

 

I stood up from the bedside as a totally new person. The Bible says; “Therefore if any man be in Christ he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold all things are become new”. (II Corinthians 5:17). I knew peace with God, as the Bible says; “Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ”. (Romans 5:1). I was the glad recipient of eternal life and hurried into my parents’ room to tell them how I had been saved. They were delighted that their prodigal son had been saved and we rejoiced together.

 

I went downstairs and screwing up my pack of cigarettes, threw them in the bin, bidding farewell to my old life and any traces of it. The phone calls started as friends heard the news. One good friend, who had recently told me if I didn’t stop drinking so heavily I wouldn’t reach thirty, was inviting me out for a drink. Another friend was crying, telling me to snap out of it and that I had been brainwashed! I told her how I had been saved by the grace of God and was happy for it.

 

Time has quickly passed and nothing has changed. I’d never want to return to the empty pleasures of this life. From experience I have tried all this world has to offer and it left me bitterly disappointed with a great aching void. The true fulfilment in life is preparing for the one to come and having peace with God. I wouldn’t swap places with anyone who could offer me all the money in the world. The redemption of the soul is precious, says the bible and it ceaseth forever. I am eternally saved and know where I’m going when I die: to heaven to be with Christ forever.

 

My friend, how is it for you? What are you seeking in life and do you know your destiny for the great eternity that awaits you? To die as you are without the forgiveness of sin will take you down to hell to languish under the judgement of God. The Bible says; O that they were wise, that they understood this, that they would consider their latter end! (Deuteronomy 32:29). May I urge you to repent of your sin and trust in the crucified and resurrected Christ for salvation today. Tomorrow maybe too late! Whosover shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved. (Acts 2:21)